Why do we need to move?

The other afternoon, my son asked me why 
we were going to move, what is so bad about living here??

Well, I must tell you...that innocent comment sent me into a tizzy!

Here is a short tour of our house;

Pull into driveway, glancing at the garage which is completely obliterated by ivy. We know it is there by the open door with the junk flowing out onto the gravel deprived driveway, ( think tornado '98). 
Watch yourself coming up the steps as there are no handrails to steady yourself. Make your way over the cement path, stepping carefully to avoid the crumbling parts. Upon reaching the stoop, again be careful, no handrails. Oh, and by the way brush that formosa/weed tree out of your eyes when 
you reach for the storm door.

Now, pull on the door because it is stuck, but, not too hard or the bungee cord holding it tight will snap your head off. Keep your hands at your sides, so as not to slice your wrists on the loose copper weather stripping.


 Ahhhhh! In at last.  Go to bathroom door and pull open, handle jiggles, so, keep trying, it will spin sooner or later. Sit down breathing sigh of relief and then notice ceiling dust everywhere, and is that water dripping on my head?? Oh, no!

The upstairs bathroom is leaking through the rotted wood and the hole in the floor! Someone must have taken a shower and not placed the shampoo bottles strategically on the shower curtain to prevent water from running out of the shower!

Hey, a shower doesn't sound bad! Walk up the stairs, into the 'furnace' that is the top floor. The airconditioning man said the extra large furnace would cool the whole house, but hey, he's long gone! That reminds me, remember when they did that job and ran loose cords, wires and hoses out the basement window and didn't bother to seal the opening? (I know there is a possum that won't forget that very soon!) They placed the unit right on the lawn. Instead of on the cement pad made for it on other side of house.

Back to shower. Try not to get a splinter from the exposed wood floor where linoleum is ripped up and never replaced. Shut door so you can get to the sink, shield your eyes from the glare of the bare bulb. Then open the medicine cabinet for soap, don't pull too hard, it doesn't open all the way and you'll break it.

Turn on the water and get in the shower, don't forget to do the bottles as stated earlier. You don't want to be the one that floods the downstairs light bulb and shorts it out. Pull window curtain across so the opening in the sill doesn't flood. I heard that attracts bugs and if there is one thing I cannot stand it is bugs!

That was a great shower! Feeling good now. I think I'll do some chores.

Carefully open the dishwasher so the door doesn't drop since the springs are broken! After loading her up, make sure the plastic containers are in the right place on the floor to catch the leaks and then turn it on with pliers from the mouse drawer(don't ask!) Being careful not to strip the threads on the post, because when I go to replace the dial, I don't want to replace a dial post too!

Enter the back porch to do the wash, oops, don't forget my slicker, having noticed raincloud over the house earlier. Open back door, pull hard, it sticks from the humidity. Wow, it's a hot one today! My hair is curling from the amazon rainforest climate on the back porch (sunroom as my husband refers to it). Be careful not to slip on the wet cement and out the screen door. After all, there is no actual screen to prevent you or the dogs from flying through.

Speaking of chores, I better see if one of the kids will mow the lawn, they have finally mastered the 3 wheeled mower, 
located in the garage

 behind the stove left by Lucy Ricardo.

Note to self, house stove needs new electric coil for large unit and replace those broken drip pans while you are at it.

Well, I think I'll call it a day! I'd love to call my sis, but, husband disconnected the phone to save $$$ and he has the cell phone with him.

Earnestly looking for new digs,

Scarlett